My wife and I are at a hotel getting ready this morning. We went to see my favorite comedian Trevor Noah last night. Like many people, I aways feel a bit playful at a hotel. I don’t know why. Maybe because you don’t have to make your bed? Maybe because you don’t know anyone around you? No mail, pets, phone calls? For whatever reason, I’m feeing goofy and getting ready.
I put on a new Christmas t-shirt replete with 3 adorable and mischievous Porgs decorating – or undecorating, it’s not clear – their very own Christmas tree. Hilarity ensues, obviously.
So, here we are in the hotel and my wife is trying to get ready, which includes today, as most days, makeup. I am going to go out a limb here and guess that many of you reading this who wear makeup or who love someone who does, understand that my wife was dealing with substandard makeup conditions.
“I would bet that all hotel room lighting is designed by men,” she grumbles. At this point, I know to simply agree – plus we all know she is right. After my verbal agreement, I move on with my morning ablutions. She has been getting ready for sometime before me – as I try to wait a bit in order to avoid being ready for 45 minutes before her.
This is a Butch art, I am certain. Get ready too early and it adds to her stress (and my possible irritation). Get ready too late and it seems like I am lazy. Better to be ready and just waiting a bit. I know you feel me.
I pull on my aforementioned t-shirt and am giddy because it is so damn cute. I mean, Porgs decorating a tree?! I bounce over to my wife who is standing at the full length mirror working on her eyebrows in her towel and the poor overhead lighting. We are listening to the Jingle Ball on Capital Glasgow radio and the beat is working. I start dancing behind her from side to side smiling at her on each side in the mirror – trying to show my Porgs with each lean.
My wife is unimpressed. “Don’t mess with a woman doing her eyebrows.” We both started laughing like crazy. Timing. Its all about timing.
It is Butch to be playful, but ever mindful of your wife’s winged eyeliner. Be Butch.