8 Months

Hi. I can’t believe you waited for me! I am so delighted. Thank you for that. It has been 8 months since I have written to you, or anyone. 8 months. 34 weeks. 244 days. I have wanted to write of late. Thought about posts. Written them in my head. But not on paper – or, rather, not on my laptop. I just couldn’t. For awhile – most of that time – I have been too sick to write. But after I started to feel better, I was overwhelmed with the idea of updating you. There is so much to share – or not share. What do I share? And down the rabbit hole I go.

So, you know what? I am just going to start writing. I like it. I need it. Writing helps my soul. It allows me to be creative, to use whichever side of the brain that is. It makes me smile. Enough with the rabbit holes.

I will most likely write about the past year in bits and pieces, sharing as I feel comfortable. Yes? In the meantime, I am sitting at a Starbucks downtown while my wife has a girls’ night out. I am the chauffeur this evening. Because of that, I find myself with a latte and my laptop. I am wearing the AirPods that I got for Christmas, which means I look a bit like a hipster idiot. What can I say? They work too damn well with my phone and so even though I think they look stupid on people (including me), I relented.

Here is a brief synopsis to bring us up to date. I had a year of medical issues. Three knee surgeries, one bone infection, a reactionary serum sickness, a DVT, a pulmonary embolism, a blood clot, 5 hospitalizations, weekly trips to the doctor, and daily trips to the physical therapists brought me through 2018 – just barely. I left my job so that I could focus on healing. It is a good thing that I did because I still cannot work. I spend about 4-5 hours every day working on rehabilitating my slick new titanium knee (at home exercises, PT, icing, and wearing a special brace).

I like to imagine that my knee makes me a little bit like the Terminator. After all, it is made of titanium. Just like the Terminator’s. This is a comforting thought because a Terminator knee “doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until [I] am dead.” That is really what I am looking for in a joint. Right? I will pass on the murderous intent and scary red eyes. Yeah, just the solid metal knee, thank you.

The myriad of medical issues, complications, and stressors resulted in a very serious heart issue in December. My heart was beating so fast that they had to shock me back into a steady rhythm. It was like my heart said, “Oh hell no. I am out of here.” Honestly, the heart thing was terrifying.

But, you know what? I am still here. Still alive. Still in good spirits. Still lucky enough to be able to drive a car, walk into a Starbucks, and sit down to write. As I claw my way back to sanity, I find myself feeling more and more butch. That has to be good enough for now.