Just Another Lesbian

This morning I was dropping my kids off at school when I realized something. While walking back to my car, I saw myself through another mom’s eyes. I inhaled sharply as I realized that this morning, I look like just another lesbian. Meaning, stereotypically boyish/sloppy/casual.

I spend a fair amount of time talking about style and fashion, and challenging us butches to step it up a notch. Accordingly, I must turn myself in when I break all those rules, err, guidelines that I normally advocate.

Let me break it down, bottom to top:

1. Brown leather flip flops, by Reef. Bottle openers in the soles, natch.

2. Blue cotton cargo shorts, by Old Navy.

3. Grey t-shirt, slightly too big, untucked, by Life Is Good. Shudder. The cartoon on this gem is a tailgating Jake with a Jeep and a football. Add a rainbow flag to the Jeep and the football, and it’s a trifecta of the dyke stereotype.

4. Grey baseball cap covering up the morning flat mohawk, by Black Clover (albeit a strong hat worn stylishly askew).

5. No jewelry. No belt. No flair of any kind to tie it all together.

Yuck! Everything basically matches, of course, but the overall look? Not good. This is the lesbian equivalent of the straight mom dropping her kids off at school in her PJs. If you’ve ever dropped kids off, you have seen her. No makeup (or smeared eyeliner from the night before), hair in a scrunchy, PJ bottoms, tank top (probably pink), Uggs, and a Starbucks. Right?

For me, today’s outfit equals sweatpants, which I never leave the house in. Comfy, easy, practical, lazy. The furthest thing from stylish. Yes, sadly, today I contributed to the lesbian stereotype. I guess it happens sometimes.

But don’t worry – when I go out for drinks tonight, I will represent!

It’s butch to hold yourself accountable for how you look – even early in the morning. Be butch.

8 thoughts on “Just Another Lesbian

  1. I agree that mornings are ROUGH. Its hard to be styling when your brain is still snuggled under the covers! Morning people scare me a little; how can they be so cheeerful at such an ungodly hour?! I go easy on myself: if my pants are zipped I count it a win. Go a little easier on yourself!

  2. As a mom of twins who are under a year old I reserve the right to wear my PJs 3 days in a row. I do however get dressed if I leave the house or am expecting visitors. I must admit 2012 has been less than stylish for me.

  3. Hmmmm.. . well, here is what I think: A Femme is a Femme, a Butch is Butch – no matter what we are doing, wearing, drinking or thinking!

    To think otherwise is to buy into the idea that Butch (or Femme for that matter) is some kind of affect – that a Butch is something you put on or take off at will, that if you are not doing/wearing/drinking/thinking certain things you are no longer Butch. . . but really, isn’t Butch just what you ARE? Is a man not a man if he wears a dress? He might look silly to our mainstream eyes, he might FEEL like an idiot in that dress, but you cant make him NOT what he is because of it. . .

    I think we are what we are no matter what the package says and we ALL have slouchy days. . . I say you are entitled to your PJ mornings or your JAL (just another lesbian) days. . . your guy with the pulled-up athletic socks days. . . whoever you are, whatever your slouch manifests as – we are all allowed to let go now and then AND BE FORGIVEN. .. because, hey, when we shine up, we shine up GOOD, right?

    Hey -I think its less about the outside of da package. . . make sure that each day, no matter what you present as, that you are FEELING AUTHENTICALLY YOURSELF. On the inside. I love a Butch done up right like any Femme does, but I have to say there is nothing as hot to me as when my Butch knows who she is and feels good about herself – cargo shorts, hat backwards, sweaty from the gym and a Life Is Good T has never gotten in the way of how deep she gets me when she is being who she is.

    • Maya, I love the “JAL” nickname. Yes, I will have plenty of those. You are right that’s it’s more about you and how you feel. Thanks for your insightful comment! =:o) Butch

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