Republicans’ Least Wanted

On the day after Santorum “suspended” his campaign (I know, let’s all take a moment…), I want to know … Why don’t the Republicans want me?

I mean, seriously, I am an untapped market for the Republicans. I am one of those people – not a 1%er by any means – but a person with a professional job, a person with some means. You know what I am saying here? I can donate a little to campaigns. I mean, if I can afford beer and bowties, I can donate to good causes. Mostly, Polar bears and anti-prop 8 groups, but still.

So, my point is this. The Republican Party needs to butch it up a bit. Yes, that’s right. I am what the Republican party needs. Now, give me a minute, my gay, lesbian, and uber-liberal friends. Do not cast me aside as a heretic. If you take away the anti-gay, anti-abortion, anti-environment… anti-equality and anti-everyone-who-isn’t-white-ness of the Republican party, and I could be a big supporter. After all, I am pro-family. I am pro-th troops (not war, of course, but definitely pro-troops). I am pro-American, for sure. I still have a tremendous amount of pride in this country that does not seem to want me (where eIse am I going to go, some Nordic country and freeze my ass off?). I am pro-crime control. I am anti-drug. I am also pro-choice, pro-gay, pro-peace, and pro-earth. But, shouldn’t everyone be?

If the Republican Party could pull its collective head out of its ass, it could pick up a whole bunch of members, dollars, and votes. In other words, I would gladly vote Republican, and pay less taxes, and see less government, if I could also have equal rights and no government dictated religion (I am not saying you cannot be religious, have at it. I just don’t want my government telling me what to do based on the bible). Why don’t the Republicans get this? I have some Republican friends who get it, of course (some of my best friends are Republican). But the Republican Party does not get it. Gingrich? Santorum? Romney? Please.

Here is how I am a like a Republican… I don’t like the government telling me what to do = Republican. I don’t like paying so much in taxes = Republican. I am against legalizing most crimes (that’s the former prosecutor in me, I can’t help it) = Republican. I wear bow ties = Republican. I believe that one woman and one woman are the perfect match (wait…).

Ok, so here is the problem. Here is how I am not like a Republican. I want every woman to be able to make her own difficult decisions. I would never marry a man, but I want others to be able to decide for themselves. I want to be paid as much as possible, but I think that others, who do not look like me but are just as qualified as me, should make the same as I do for the same job. I might like the option to own a gun when I no longer have children living at home, but I am fine with some restrictions on my ability to do so. I don’t give one rat’s ass what Jesus would do. Why should I? How about what would I do? How about taking responsibility for my own decisions and my own consequences? That’s novel.

There is no party for me. Where are my conservative Democrats? Where are the truly liberal Republicans? I want a party that wants less… less taxes, less government, less regulation, less interference in my life, and more … more people treated equally, more peace, more polar bears, and more children with a top-notch education. Where is that party? THAT party would be something to celebrate.

It is butch to speak your mind and stay engaged in the process, even if you feel like a square peg in a round hole. Be butch.