The 16 Butchest Movies of All Time

Need a handy list of movies to watch? Want to make sure you can communicate with the Butch in your life? I’m here to serve. 

The following is my selection for the Butchest movies of all time, in no particular order. Obviously, this is because I am a Butch and clearly a movie expert. Lol. Add your favorites in the comments.

1. Terminator – When Ahhnold takes that biker’s clothes, boots, and shades. Also, biker boots crushing red roses and Linda Hamilton.
2. Jaws – I mean, clearly we are going to need a bigger list. Er, boat.
3. Alien – Sigourney Weaver in a wife beater, dirty and sweaty taking on that Mama Alien. Yes!
4. Raiders of the Lost Ark – What Butch doesn’t want to be Professor Jones? Digging in the dirt? A whip and a pistol? I mean, come on!
5. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid – The name alone would get it mentioned here (plus, great movie).
6. Batman – Normal dude, tuxedos, tons of money, best toys ever. Catching bad guys.
7. Any James Bond – All those gadgets, cars, women. Bow ties. British accent.
8. Godfather – Meh. That’s right, I said meh. Then why include it? Ask any Butch you know. It must make the list.
9. Ace Ventura – Like a glove. 94 minutes of brilliance.
10. Bad Boys – whacha gonna do when they come for you? Plus, a Shelby Cobra, and Tia Leone with a gun.
11. Silence of the Lambs – it has Jodi foster in it, so we will excuse the senseless scariness. What are we? Rocks?
12. Die Hard – Yippeekaiyay mother f*cker!
13. Big Hero 6 – What? Go ahead. I dare you.
14. Charlie’s Angels – Um, hot girls? Car chases? Explosions? Drew Barrymore kicking ass?
15. Star Wars – Whether you identify with Han Solo, Luke, or Darth Vader, this is about as Butch as it gets. Sword fights (with lasers), talking robots, high tech vehicles of every kind, spectacular explosions, and … Princess Leia. Sigh.
16. Lord of the Rings – Epic adventure, fears of daring do, being underestimated and succeeding against all odds.
Did I forget your favorite? Let me know!
It’s Butch to make lists. Be Butch.

8 thoughts on “The 16 Butchest Movies of All Time

  1. So glad Big Hero 6 got on here! Im not butch enough to hold back tears during this movie… in that vein, I’d also like to nominate Million Dollar Baby. And Toy Story 3. Now I’m just naming movies that make me cry…

    Admittedly I don’t know what makes a movie butch. 🙁

  2. My spouse is laughing out loud and ready to break out the popcorn. Yikes…those movies, Again?!?
    How about a list of movies for the gentler sex (whichever that might be)?
    I suspect the Notebook would rank.

  3. Just One of the Guys is my butch go to. A girl dressing as a guy the whole movie, she looks Butch and is very cute. Plus a bonus boob shot at the end of the movie.

  4. The Hustler: Paul Newman at his broodiest and finest in a lovely classic B&W, playing a drunken Pool Hustler. I can’t think of anything more “butch” and classic in ambience.

  5. Off the top of my head, add the classics: Cool Hand Luke and Butch Cassidy, then more modern Classic, Reservoir Dogs, plus I’ve got a soft spot — I MEAN, A FREAKEN *HARD SPOT* IS WHAT I MEAN, NOTHING SOFT — an *appreciation* for Jason Bourne (= I drive way too fast after Bourne movies), so add that franchise, then throw in the first two movies I ever saw where I didn’t instantly imagine myself as a dude to slide into the super-spy badass fantasy: La Femme Nikita ( the original French one) and The Long Kiss Goodnight, where Geena Davis is BADASS as Charly Baltimore and Samuel L. Jackson is– well, you have to see it. I wanted to throw in a serious takenoprisoners clip, but YouTube was lame — it’s billed as a comedy so all I could find were pre-transformation ha-ha scenes. There are hints in the trailer, though:
    And an especially memorable character detail: that white T….
    Be and Do — both.
    Anyway. $00.02

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