Why I Love Butches

Recently, I asked all of you to share the reasons why you love butches. It was a really interesting list and some of you suggested that I needed to compile it and share. One note is that this was grammatically challenging. Most of these are tweets and so not full sentences, but I tried to edit as little as possible. I did make them readable outside of Twitter and Facebook, though, and even though they aren’t all complete sentences, I added periods. Also, I’ve never cursed in a post, but a few of these need the expletive, I think, so I have left them.  Well, here you go!

Oh, and if you are a baby butch, take note. It was mentioned on more than one occasion that some of you could use a few of these tips.


  • Big, giant, strong hands to pick me up and fuck me. Number one reason.
  • Looking at her strong hands and knowing where they can take me…
  • Strong hands on the small of my back guiding me through a crowded room.
  • She runs her fingers through my hair, gently pulling my head back, and kisses my neck.
  • The contrast of her big rough hands on my smooth skin.
  • The way she holds me and the way she takes my hand in hers.
  • Butch hands, butch style, butch lips!
  • Arms strong enough to carry me to her bed, hands strong enough to pin my wrists even when I arch my back.
  • Strong hands that silently promise to always keep me safe.
  • The safety that can always be found in their big strong arms.

Butches: Femmes are loving how strong we are. Also, they notice our hands, so maybe keep them clean?


  • How amazing she looks in a 3 piece suit with a bow tie and how that bow tie comes in handy after dark.
  • How she looks in a made-to-measure three piece suit.
  • She’s not into suits, but she knows that you have a thing for them and so she wears them for you.
  • Suits and boobs!
  • A surprise trashy bra under her suit.
  • Purple dress shirts and vests.
  • Three words. Ties. Cufflinks. Vests.
  • Bow ties that I can untie…
  • French cuff dress shirts & cuff links.
  • Ties, button down shirts, blazers, belts, shoes, watches.
  • Ass kicking boots!
  • Short, well maintained hair.
  • Nothing quite as appealing as a dapper butch.

Butches: Get the picture here? There is major action to be gotten by dressing up, buttoning down, and tying that bow tie.


  • I like how how attentive she is when I make her breakfast.
  • When she let’s you ramble on and on about your day…and actually listens.
  • They use the word asshats to make sad femmes laugh out loud.
  • How intently she listens to me when I speak.
  • Her patience while I get ready.
  • When a straight man says, “why not date a real man?” I can say, anything you can do, she can do better!
  • They’re so smile-inducing to consider that I’d rather stay here typing why I love them, than finish getting ready &going to work this morning!
  • The softer side only shown in the safety and confidence of a loved one.
  • The dynamic that can only be shared between a butch and a femme.
  • Attentive, appreciative and creative..
  • The way she embraces the butch-femme dance in a way that respects us both.
  • The way butches interact with children when they think no one is watching: let go, act silly and carefree! *swoon*
  • Strong facial features with a hint of softness.

Butches: Listen, be patient, and let those lovely femmes see your softer side. Apparently, they like it. What a relief! It’s hard to be tough all the time.

PUPPIES (Yes, really.)

  • They get puppies for their little girls..
  • They give a puppy-less femme a late nite puppy fix.
  • She selflessly offers to share adorable puppy to serve as mascot.

Butches: If you can pull it off responsibly, there are points to be scored here.


  • Confidence, because she’s out every moment & has to deal with things I never will.
  • Her unapologetic presence and self confidence.
  • Outward self confidence and undeniable presence.

I have to say that first one almost makes me cry. It’s true, and it’s exhausting. So nice to be appreciated for it.


  • Having a butch find out no one has ever bought you flowers before & them being more pissed off than you.
  • She is gallant enough to allow an inattentive femme to save face.
  • Old-school butch style, old-school butch manners.
  • The way she makes me feel like the only woman in the world worth noticing.
  • The silent possessiveness of her presence when we’re on a date.
  • Gentlebutch manners. Attentive. Femmes first.
  • How she opens the door for me, closes my car door, all those little things.
  • How she guides me with a hand on the small of my back as we walk.
  • I love butch gentlemanly attention, tenderness, tough demeanor, lovely manners to start…
  • The effort she makes to ensure I don’t get wet from puddles and the way she walks.
  • Chivalry in the most genuine and loving display.
  • The way she bravely kills the spiders while pretending they don’t terrify her.

I am so glad the femmes notice! Young butches: Open the doors for your femme – unless she tells you not to.


  • Making her growl.
  • How your special butch knows just how to please you.
  • Knowing that submission is strength, not weakness.
  • How they blush when teased playfully by a femme.
  • Walking out in heels, corset, suspenders, stockings with red lips and her being left speechless.
  • Because they know how to put the biggest grin on your face, right before bed. *swoon*
  • The way she undresses me with her eyes.
  • Unexpected romantic streaks.
  • Her absolute need for me there and then…
  • How I can make her distracted by being girly & flirty.
  • Role playing :o)
  • When she pretends like we have never met and find that connection all over again every time.
  • How they always give a femme what she wants and needs.
  • They are super attentive and giving.
  • How I can get her cool facade to slip by being provocative. 
  • The way she makes me melt with a demanding kiss. 
  • The way she treats me with respect & charm, until we’re in the bedroom.
  • The look on their face when they realizing I’m packing under my skirt.
  • The way she bends down to gently remove my stilettos before giving me a massage. 
  • The way they please their lover!

Butches: Well done! We are sexy beasts! Keep up the good work, and the growling.


  • Big and strong to pin me down while she fucks me. 
  • When she ties me up with her bow tie.
  • The look on her face when she says “I may hurt you, but I’ll never harm you.” 
  • Obedience… *fanning myself* and the look in her eyes when she does submit.

Gulp. No comment.


  • Butches are so intoxicating.
  • The way she reacts to my perfume.
  • The way their skin smells, even without cologne or body spray.

Butches: This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t shower. Keep it fresh.

And, my favorite comment was from JaJaButton: “Someone bring me ButchOnTap. Please? Yum. Butch is best.” Thanks JaJa! You made me blush.

Coming soon, the same inventory for Why I love Femmes. Given this list, it is obvious the femmes and sometimes butches love us for all that makes us butch. So, I guess that means that it’s Butch to Be Butch. Be Butch.

32 thoughts on “Why I Love Butches

  1. I so completely agree with the swagger comments. I envy that about butches and honestly in my own life I can only strive to be half as confident. 🙂

  2. “Having a butch find out no one has ever bought you flowers before & them being more pissed off than you.” Is one of my favorites! Yes, I agree with many of the other reasons, but this one brought a big smile to my face! As we are dealing with these kinda things now! Butch love!

  3. Very nice, (but I have no fear of spiders, or snakes or racoons or opossums or coyotes, or etc etc etc) ….LOL… or small children.

  4. Wow, thank you for this blog post. As a butch and boi-loving femme, everything here is true and the one sentence that really struck a cord was “the way she embraces the butch-femme dance that respects us both”. True true true true true!!!!

  5. Another hit out of the park, Honey! I have nothing to add so I will let this one slide but it sounds like it resonates with many people and that’s the goal. Love Mom

  6. Wow! I’m not gay, but this post is beautiful. Put a smile on my face. I’ll be honest, I always wondered the ‘Why not just date a man’ thing, but honestly, this just changed my mind without any kind of explanation. 🙂

  7. THIS LIST IS AWESOME and I AGREE with 99% of it. Just gotta add for all you non-fashionista butches out there: Though my butch looks AMAZING when she dresses up, I also find her old jeans, cargo shorts and T’s incredibly hot – they suit her outdoor nature, her zoo-keeper soul and the do-it-yourself, roughing-it kind of life we both like. I know in some circles its just not REPRESENTING for a butch to wear Ye Olde Cargo Shorts out in public, but for those of you who do, there is at least one femme out here who thinks you look good that way!

    Can’t wait to see the Femme List!!!!

    Thanks again Butch Jaxon aka Tristan for a great post.

    Love Always,

    • Maya,

      As always, I love and appreciate your comment. Cargo shorts, though. Meh… I’m sure Kelly looks good to you in a paper bag, but I can’t advocate for cargo shorts unless one is carrying cargo. =;o)


  8. Dear Butch aka Tristan aka BOT …, :0)
    I remember how much fun we all had contributing to these lists, they were so beautiful, endearing, funny and distracting… Oh my, LoL! were some of them “distracting”…

    Good on you for tackling the tweet threads and retweets… Butchpoints to you my friend for sorting them all into something much easier to digest.

    I have one to add to the list if I may?

    “When your butch discovers that the only people that have gifted you with jewelry are your children, she makes you the most beautiful silver bracelet and matching earrings you have ever seen.”

    Lulu …. P.s. Your mum is way cool!!!!

  9. Lol, Wow. No holding back about the hands. All true & great stuff. On a side note- one of the hottest gfs I ever had between the sheets was a little shorty. She was only 5’3 & I am nearly 5’8. She used to wish she was taller. I didn’t care & I couldn’t resist her as she was smart, super cute & very sweet to me… much more important than height or hand size.

    I also can’t wait to read the femme list.

  10. My tiny butch hands are having a slightly insecure moment. That’s alright; short nails and rough knuckles make up for that, right?

  11. I love this! What a wonderful complilation. I have been single far too long and these responses make me long for a mature, curvy butch. I am one who gets weak in the knees around a butch. My face turns red…I stutter and trip over my words and worse leave an awful first impression. Which is odd because professionally I have spoken to an intimate group of students all the way to public speaking in a auditorium.
    Keep up the good work here…I have been following you a while and love your entries.

  12. Spot on. The only thing you missed was the back of the neck where the hairs clipped. Gets me every time. Trouble is, when you look like me, nobody even suspects you’re gay 🙁

Leave a Comment

error: Content is protected !!