Finding Butch

I was inspired by my blog idol, Butch Wonders, to do a regular post about some of the funniest search terms that land people at my blog. After checking in with Butch Wonders, I am proud to proceed with my first edition of this. So, here are the top 10 oddest or most interesting search terms that lead folks to ButchOnTap last month:

  1. monopoly game on iphone wont let me resume my game what do i do – Turn off your phone. Look around you. The world is beautiful. Or, find a friend to play Monopoly with. Wouldn’t it be great if you could play Butchopoly?
  2. Can a fat butch be sexy?– Yes. Anyone can be sexy. The same rules apply to butches as to non-butches. Big orsmall you can be hotter than hell, but not if you are wearing sweatpants … probably. There are always exceptions.
  3. do skinny jeans go with Mohawk – Everything goes with a Mohawk. Next?
  4. i look around and wonder and stare unknowingly how to stop – Oh my. I had no idea that “What are you looking at?” would pull in a lost soul like this. Step One: Go to the doctor. Step Two: Go see a therapist. Step Three: Perhaps stop playing Monopoly on your iphone? It might be reducing your attention span.
  5. i’m so ugly, should i become a big, butch lesbian? – NO! We don’t want you. Please pick another career or pursuit. Butch lesbians are hot.
  6. what does a kiss mean to a butch lesbian advice – The same thing that it means to a femme, a lesbian, a gay man, a straight woman, or a straight man. Depends on the kiss, of course, but doesn’t it usually mean, “Let’s go”? You are all free to come and kiss me and we can experiment to see if that is the correct interpretation… unless you are the person who asked the question in number 5.
  7. lesbian bow ties – Great! I didn’t know there were lesbian bow ties. I need to get some of those. So far, I just have a whole bunch of non-sexually identified bow ties.
  8. she is very big and strong – Why, thank you!
  9. makeup for butch – I don’t speak for every butch, but I think it is pretty safe to say on behalf of most of us, “Butch doesn’t care for any make up, unless it’s on a femme.” Oh, is that what you meant? Then, yes, please.
  10. i dont care what you say yes we are both lesbians butch but i do love her – Butches can be attracted to femmes, lesbians who are not identified as femmes, bois, and even other butches. Attraction isn’t about roles and correctness. It is about what you want and what feels good. So to the two “lesbians butch,” mazel tov.

16 thoughts on “Finding Butch

  1. “So far, I just have a whole bunch of non-sexually identified bow ties.”

    I wish I was drinking something when I read that so that I could spray it all over my computer monitor for a more dramatic, comedic effect.

    I am now following you, so glad I found your blog!!!

  2. My gf says I’m not butch enough cuz I have to many feelings an emotions lol.. I say well i am still a woman ya know.. lol.. no but seriously I dnt think it makes me any less butch.. what do you think??

    • Kelly, I’m with you. I don’t care for the “butches are made of stone” stereotype. We are flesh and blood – and female hormones. That means emotions. You are no less butch because of them! Remind your gf that your emotions make you passionate and those are why you dote on her (hopefully, you dote on her)!

  3. Hey Butch,

    What am I doing wrong I don’t get nearly as interesting search terms.

    I think my funniest to date is Circ Du Soleil baby juggling. Yup…I didn’t know that was one of their performances.

      • We are pro baby jugglers, but I doubt there is much entertainment value in it.

        My most impressive feat is managing to get the dummy the right way up in the baby’s mouth while half asleep at 3am.

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