I Don't Like Sushi

I don’t like sushi. There, I said it. I love veggie rolls, and anything that is cooked, but not raw fish. It’s a problem. For real. And something I will either have to hide while in Japan or be prepared to deal with.

My Japanese colleagues will want to take me to excellent sushi. After all, what do most Americans want to experience in Japan? Sushi. So, I will go and eat sushi and I will drink lots of sake and it will be fine. I also cannot stand shellfish. Any kind of shellfish. Lobster, crab, scallops, mussels, abalone, clams, oysters – disgusting. The lot of them. Again, I realize that this makes me a bit of a freak. Whenever I am at a high-end event and all of my friends and colleagues are freaking out about the “amazing crab legs” or the “ridiculous oyster bar” I just shake my head. It’s really a texture thing for me. The flavor is ok really, but I can’t stomach the texture of these sea creatures.

On top of that, they are sea creatures, very small animals. When served, they frequently are still the whole animal. I have trouble eating a life. A piece of pork under cellophane in the market, or a lovely piece of steak on my plate, totally distanced from its source, is one thing. And both pigs and cows are indeed delicious. But a lobster, in tact, sitting on my plate? No, it’s too much for me. A friend said it really well recently. She is a marine biologist and she shares my distaste for all of these sea creatures, which she explains are her friends. How can she eat her friends? I note that she is a very attractive femme, and I would try anything she asked me to, so it’s a good thing she doesn’t care for shellfish. To my friends reading this, if you didn’t know that about me, take note. It can easily be a new sport for you – a form of hazing Butch.

And, before you say, “Butch, you need to try it,” let me assure you that I have. My ex wife is a lobster freak (I assume this is still the case), and my ex GF loved all manner of sushi and shellfish. Each of them at various points in our relationships encouraged me to try all of these items over and over again in case my tastes had changed. And, of course, I always try things that I am asked to try. Each time, I would say, “Of course, honey” and try what I was offered. My tastes had not changed, much to their chagrin. Even last weekend at dinner with a bunch of friends at an amazing place, a friend was over the moon with her scallops – my least favorite of all shellfish – and she asked me to try them. She’s a pretty femme, and well, what can I say? Of course I did as she asked and tried a bite – washing it down with the Chimay I was drinking as politely as I could. Blech.

So, I am an American business woman in Japan (sounds like a tag line for a show) and a lesbian at that. And, I don’t like sushi. I refuse to make that joke – you know the one – because I think it’s gross and very, very far from the truth, but I’d be a fool if I didn’t acknowledge that at least some of you are thinkng it. For shame.

Dear Japanese people and sushi fans the world over: I am sorry.

Dear PETA and fish friends: you are welcome.

Well, what can I say? It’s butch (or at least good business) to eat things you don’t want to in order to not offend your hosts? Ok. Be Butch.

11 thoughts on “I Don't Like Sushi

  1. Not a fan of most seafood either myself. Hate oysters and scallops too and I always use this excuse – shellfish allergy.

  2. Dude. I so relate to this. 100%. I had a femme tell me, laughingly, the other day that every butch she’s ever known is a picky eater. Her theory is that we put so much energy into being exactly who/what we are, societal expectations be damned, that it spills into our food preferences. So, according to that femme, anyway, it’s butch to know what you don’t like and refuse to eat it. 🙂

    Of course, that doesn’t solve the business thing. Good luck with that.

  3. Well it’s entirely possible your tastes will change as you move through life, I personally have entirely different tastes than when I was in my 20’s. Just keep on trying new things and keep it Butch!!

  4. Everyone has their own tastes. I can’t even think about eating oysters or clams. Ewww. I love sushi. We all have different tastes. That’s what makes us unique.

  5. Ummm ewwww…raw fish sushi, blech!!!! The California rolls are ok, veggies, rice and seaweed are ok. And gotta say BOT you’re awesome for trying anyway, cause being a pleaser is hawt!!

  6. Butch Jaxon, don’t eat anything you don’t want! Good for you. But the whole ‘polite to another culture/ to the hosts/ to the BOSSES’ thing is a tough one. Let us all just be thankful for tongue scouringly strong alcohol. It will do the trick.

    Now. I have one for you…try durian fruit. 🙂 Enjoy!


  7. I can’t even begin to comprehend what you life is like. You be you. I LURVE sushi. And scallops! and oysters! Lobster!!! I’m a pescatarian because the texture of most meat icks me out, so I don’t eat meat but do eat seafood. Lots and lots and lots of seafood. Good luck with the sushi bars, wish you could somehow just send all the sushi to me!!!

  8. Loved this post!

    I also love sushi, and seafood, as it happens. But I still loved this post. Thank you for yet another bit of writing that was worth staying up past when I planned to go to bed, just to read it. 😉

  9. Order Tamago, Inari, cumber roll (all vegetarian).
    Also you may be able to sidestep the sushi issue by ordering some delicious ramen or udon.

    Don’t forget not to put sauce on your rice as it is considered extremely rude!

    Enjoy Japan & good luck!

  10. You don’t have to eat sushi. There are other meals like; sukiyaki and nikujaga, both are cooked meals that include meat and the latter is a stew with meat & potatoes in it. Also have some noodles like udon or even dumplings. Have a good time!

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