Oh, She Looks Hot.

My wife and I had an interesting moment this morning. She was watching Mary Lambert’s new video, Know Your Name. My wife tells me that “Callie” from Gray’s Anatomy, Sara Ramirez, is in the video. I like her, so I look over. Just in time to see her unhooded (she is actually in a mysterious caped hood for the first half of the video) and looking very, very butch with a jet black mohawk slicked down (oh so much like mine). Also, there are video games, comic book special effects, and light sabers – making this an instant classic and new favorite of mine. Well done, Mary!

Sara arches her eyebrow at Mary (damn, I wish I could do that!) and it is obvious they are crushing on each other. And, apparently, so is my wife who says, “Oh, she looks hot.” I respond playfully, “Really? Does she now?” and my wife giggles. I have this reaction whenever she comments on how hot a Butch is. I say, she’s always been hot, but my wife never thought so because Callie’s character was so feminine on the show. A moment or two later in the video I comment that Mary looks amazing, uber hot. She does this hair flip thing and smiles into the camera… My wife, replies “Really? Does she now?” and punches me in the shoulder. She has this reaction whenever I comment on how attractive another Femme is – not so much if I were to comment on how handsome or good-looking Rachel Maddow, kd lang, or the cute Butch we saw at 7-11 is. Funny, that.

It got me thinking how much attraction is pegged into the way one presents oneself.

Let’s look at the difference in how  Sara Ramirez presented herself when she was playing Callie on Gray’s and how she looks playing Solitaire in Know Your Name:

I found her very attractive in her gowns and flowing curls. My wife finds her attractive now with her shaved, slick pompadour. We don’t know Sara, so we have no idea if she ever identified as a Femme, or if she now identifies as a Butch. She is the same woman now that I found compelling before, and though I love her new look and think she looks awesome, I am no longer thinking, “Oh, she looks hot.” The reverse is true for my wife. She is attracted to Sara’s butch appearance and behavior in the video. “Baby, she even holds the car door open for Mary!” she exclaims.

Are there any Femmes reading this attracted to Sara today (maybe following her Instagram) that weren’t yesterday?

Is the same true for Butches? Remember that time when kd lang dressed up as Miss Chatelaine?

Did other Butches suddenly want to date Miss Chatelaine? Or when my wife put me in all that eye makeup for the British cancer charity (instead of a #nomakeupselfie we did the opposite), did any of my fellow Butches instantly find me irresistable?

Instead of a #nomakeupselfie, I took a full makeup one.

No, I didn’t think so. Why doesn’t this go both ways? Is there something about the butch or more masculine aura that doesn’t allow for femininity to be sexy when we put it on? Seems unfair… Any of you have any ideas on why this is? Leave a comment if you can help illuminate this.

It’s butch to examine attraction. Be Butch.

6 thoughts on “Oh, She Looks Hot.

  1. I don’t really put a label on myself. I fall under several labels, but wouldn’t necessary call myself a stem either. But I find Sara Ramirez incredibly sexy before as a femme, as well as now, looking a little butchier with her short hair. But I’m also attracted to all sorts of women. I’ve dated super femmes, tomboy, studs, butches. I’m just attracted to women.

  2. I thought she was pretty before but now I am more attracted to her. A good looking butch makes me swoon.

    I think there is room for some feminity in a butch. A laugh, a look, a personality trait. I think with some people there are definite lines in the sand. Extremes on the spectrum. I lean far fem and I am attrated to mid to far butch but I still enjoy hearing a giggle now and then. Lol

  3. I don’t really identify as butch or femme. I tell people “I’m just Tammy”. I prefer t-shirts, jeans/shorts & tennis shoes to dresses & heels but can rock both when I need/want to.
    Frankly, I find Sara/Callie hot either way. She’s a beautiful woman with coal black eyes … I just fall into them. Eyes are probably my weakness. 🙂
    I’ve dated butch, femme, athletic & other types of women. Guess it depends on hormones or perhaps pheromones at the time. I don’t really have a “type”. I just love women.

  4. Sara is beautiful as Callie, but not my type. She is not butch enough for my taste as Solitaire, either, although much more in the spectrum that I am attracted to. The make-up and brows just weren’t working for me. That being said, I thought the video was cute, the song was catchy, and I liked that there was an implied butchiness to Sara’s character. I do wish that it was pushed a bit farther.

    I was just complaining to my wife yesterday that there are not enough butches in movies/art/books, etc! We were looking at movies to watch and they always seem to be 2 femmes, every now and then with a bit of tomboy-ish vibes. I am an avid reader, and it is the same in all of the Lesfic that I read. Where are the butch women?!?! I need some eye-candy too, dammit.

  5. Actually, I’m a Butch that lusts after other Butches! Femmes, as a sexual attraction, have never really been my preference (although I definitely See them and honor their badassery on so many levels!)

    I have zero interest in Sara as Callie, but think she’s hot as Solitaire. But my real swoon factor kicks up when I see an older, silver-haired Butch. I wrote about the bits that particularly appeal once, I’ll include a bit of that writing here… it’s actually the intro to a piece that I wrote about a scene (I’m one of those SM Leatherdyke pervs. Lol!) I had last October with a smoking hot Butch! 🙂

    “I am attracted to an array of bodies, presentations, minds and ways of being in the world, but there is one way of being in the world that catches my eye from a hundred yards, making my cunt twitch and my mouth water in a very…. particular way. It’s a way of being that, by its very nature, intimidates the absolute fuck out of me. It’s also a way of being in the world that, by its very nature, tends to be more attracted to Femmes rather than Butch boys.

    Heavily masculine energy in a female-assigned-at-birth body.


    Stories written across their face in laugh lines, steel-set jaws, and perfect imperfections of a life well-lived and hard won.

    Eyes that can sparkle with mischief or pin me to a wall with a look.

    Strong hands, equally capable of delivering a body blow as they are at punch-fucking and teasing a g-spot.

    Feet (preferably booted) that stand firm, implacable in their refusal to back down, having fought to own their space in this world.

    Solid bodies and wide hips that move with a calm assurance that comes with a life of authenticity; bodies that aren’t afraid to take up space and to own it.

    Mouths that curl upwards into a smile, a smirk, a mischievous grin, or a snarl.

    Throats that bark orders, coax orgasms, murmur sweet praise, explode with laughter, and growl in raw, feral lust.

    Swagger. Not the swagger that comes of arrogance, but of confidence.

    Butch. Masculine-of-center. Dyke Daddy.”

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