My wife and I had an interesting moment this morning. She was watching Mary Lambert’s new video, Know Your Name. My wife tells me that “Callie” from Gray’s Anatomy, Sara Ramirez, is in the video. I like her, so I look over. Just in time to see her unhooded (she is actually in a mysterious caped hood for the first half of the video) and looking very, very butch with a jet black mohawk slicked down (oh so much like mine). Also, there are video games, comic book special effects, and light sabers – making this an instant classic and new favorite of mine. Well done, Mary!
Sara arches her eyebrow at Mary (damn, I wish I could do that!) and it is obvious they are crushing on each other. And, apparently, so is my wife who says, “Oh, she looks hot.” I respond playfully, “Really? Does she now?” and my wife giggles. I have this reaction whenever she comments on how hot a Butch is. I say, she’s always been hot, but my wife never thought so because Callie’s character was so feminine on the show. A moment or two later in the video I comment that Mary looks amazing, uber hot. She does this hair flip thing and smiles into the camera… My wife, replies “Really? Does she now?” and punches me in the shoulder. She has this reaction whenever I comment on how attractive another Femme is – not so much if I were to comment on how handsome or good-looking Rachel Maddow, kd lang, or the cute Butch we saw at 7-11 is. Funny, that.
It got me thinking how much attraction is pegged into the way one presents oneself.
Let’s look at the difference in how Sara Ramirez presented herself when she was playing Callie on Gray’s and how she looks playing Solitaire in Know Your Name:
I found her very attractive in her gowns and flowing curls. My wife finds her attractive now with her shaved, slick pompadour. We don’t know Sara, so we have no idea if she ever identified as a Femme, or if she now identifies as a Butch. She is the same woman now that I found compelling before, and though I love her new look and think she looks awesome, I am no longer thinking, “Oh, she looks hot.” The reverse is true for my wife. She is attracted to Sara’s butch appearance and behavior in the video. “Baby, she even holds the car door open for Mary!” she exclaims.
Are there any Femmes reading this attracted to Sara today (maybe following her Instagram) that weren’t yesterday?
Is the same true for Butches? Remember that time when kd lang dressed up as Miss Chatelaine?
Did other Butches suddenly want to date Miss Chatelaine? Or when my wife put me in all that eye makeup for the British cancer charity (instead of a #nomakeupselfie we did the opposite), did any of my fellow Butches instantly find me irresistable?
No, I didn’t think so. Why doesn’t this go both ways? Is there something about the butch or more masculine aura that doesn’t allow for femininity to be sexy when we put it on? Seems unfair… Any of you have any ideas on why this is? Leave a comment if you can help illuminate this.
It’s butch to examine attraction. Be Butch.