Christina Perri at The Dinah!

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/301/31342575/files/2015/01/img_2346.jpgPop music’s queen of romance, Christina Perri is slated to headline Club Skirts Dinah Shore Weekend’s 25th Anniversary (April 1-5, 2015)!

Perri, the singer/songwriter behind “Jar of Hearts” and “A Thousand Years”, is the latest major recording artist to proudly add Palm Springs’ iconic Dinah Shore Weekend to her touring resume.

She will deliver an exclusive live concert just before the “White Party”at the Palm Springs Convention Center on Friday, April 3, 2015.

“Christina Perri’s love song, A Thousand Years, is one of the great ballads of this decade and a song that our community has embraced. She also happens to be incredible in concert so our guests are in for a full-blown treat. Her fan base is broad and she is one of our more established artists so we are expecting record attendance. Her concert is followed up with The White Party, our signature Friday night event so it’s going to be an action packed night”, says Mariah Hanson, founder and producer of Club Skirts Dinah Shore Weekend.

The twenty-eight year old Philadelphia native’s career has been on a meteoric path since her defiant breakup anthem called “Jar of Hearts” was used on Fox’s TV show: “So You Think You Can Dance.” The breakout single was success on a stratospheric scale, instantly catapulting Christina Perri into the public eye and earning her the coveted iTunes’ “Breakthrough Pop Artist of 2011” title.

More than 100,000 fans downloaded the pop ballad allowing Perri, the then manager at a Beverly Hills Café, to not only crack the Billboard Top 40 two weeks after debuting the song on the show, but also snatch a deal with Atlantic records.

Perri followed with the 4x-platinum single “A Thousand Years”, written and recorded for the film: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1&2”, which famously zoomed into orbit selling over 4 million copies in the United Sates. Perri then released her first album, produced by GRAMMY®-winning producer Joe Chiccarelli (The White Stripes, My Morning Jacket), which entered the Billboard 200 among the top 5 upon its initial release.

Now riding a wave of success since “Jar of Hearts”, Perri is on an international tour in support of her commercially successful sophomore album “Head or Heart”, a collection of cathartic songs and powerhouse vocals released in the spring of 2014, led by the album’s buoyant first single “Human”.

Christina Perri recorded with Butch Walker, John Hill and Martin Johnson, toured with Demi Lovato on her Demi World Tour, performed at the Los Angeles’s iconic Hollywood Bowl with Jason Mraz and will now perform for a sold out crowd at The Dinah – the largest lesbian event in the world – in celebration of the event’s epic 25th Anniversary (april 1-5, 2015).

For more information and/or to purchase tickets go to: http://www.TheDinah.com

The Dinah 2015’s headliners are Christina Perri and Meghan Trainor. Other live performances confirmed to date include pop music’s new “it” girls Bebe Rexha and Ivy Levan. Stay tuned for more talent announcements.


Crying Like a Butch

Tonight, my wife made me watch … The Notebook. Yes, made me.
/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/301/31342575/files/2015/01/img_2326.jpgI am recovering from foot surgery and not very mobile. So, I’m propped up in a chair wincing occasionally while she whirlwinds around me taking care of our life. She’s busy taking down and putting away Christmas decorations, doing the dishes, washing and folding laundry, feeding our cats, tidying up, taking out the trash, etc.

She plops down on the couch every now and then to watch. The fact that she is working so damn hard and I can help so little seals my lips against any protest to her movie choice.

I would rather wash my car, at night, in freezing temperatures, than watch the quintessential chick flick, The Notebook. I’m not a huge fan of chick flicks. Big surprise, I know.

But, she’s working her ass off taking care of me and all of our business. And, if your wife says you are watching a certain movie, then you will watch it. So, I am watching. My wife, on the other hand, doesn’t really watch. Too busy.

Late in the movie, but not the end, I start to cry. Yup. I’m watching a chick flick and I am a chick starting to cry. I don’t try to hide it. Then the movie ends and I cry more. A lot more. My wife has come back for the end, so we sit there together – me balling and she tearing up. She looks at me and we start to giggle.

Big ol’ Butch balling her eyes out. We laugh and she says, “I guess you have your next post.” I reply, “But that means I have to out myself?” Yeah.

It’s Butch to watch chick flicks if your wife tells you to, even if that means you get a good cry. Be Butch.


#12DaysofButch

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/301/31342575/files/2014/12/img_2224.jpgWhat did you get for Christmas or Hanukkah? I’ve started a new hashtag over on Twitter and Facebook sharing one rad Butch gift I got this year a day for twelve days. Just a little post-holiday fun, or possibly a nice list for the Butch in your life for any gifting occasion.

I will post all twelve of the Butch gifts here afterwards. In the meantime, I thought it would be fun to see what your coolest gifts were this year. Note that I am only focusing on things – rather than homemade or experience gifts. We all know those are the very best gifts to receive, but they are also personal and hard to replicate.

I’ll gather the twelve I like best and share them in a new post.

If you’d like to share with me and the BOTs, comment below, email me (ButchOnTap@gmail.com), tweet it to me (@ButchOnTap), or post it to me over on Facebook. If you send it to me, you are giving me permission to share.

I hope you had an awesome Christmas or Hanukkah. It’s Butch to celebrate. Be Butch!


Glad You Reached Out

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/301/31342575/files/2014/12/img_2101.jpgRecovering from painful surgery is tough. Needing help with everything is so hard. My wife is amazing, my kids are thoughtful and my family and friends are fantastic. But, it’s still really, really hard to be in pain and need so much.

Plus, pain meds make me contemplative (when not knocking me out). So I’m lying here overthinking things…

Think about how hard it is to ask for help on a good day. Do you yell out to ask someone to hold the elevator? Accept the grocery clerk’s offer of help to your car? Let someone know you really do need help putting up that ceiling fan? If you are like most Americans, I doubt it.

I add “Americans” here not because I think this is in anyway a unique American experience. I add it here simply because I’ve no idea how the rest of the world works in this regard and I wouldn’t want to assume that people of all nations are as awful as Americans are about asking for, and accepting, help. Also, note I said asking for and accepting help. Not offering. I think most of us are genuine and sincere in our offers to help. There are lots of offers. So, why do we have so much trouble accepting those offers?

I’m not new to needing more help than I’d like. But since Friday, it’s a fresh round of full time need. I had foot surgery (to fuse a very painful, arthritic joint in my foot), and cannot put any weight on my left foot. I have a big splint on it just now to allow the swelling to go down before getting my cast. Then it’s 6 weeks non-weight bearing, followed by another long chunk of time in a walking boot.

That means I am hobbling around on crutches, with a giant lump of a splint making me unbalanced. Add to that the constant pain meds to manage the pain and I’m like a teetering top. I need help with everything. Dressing, eating, maneuvering, you name it. Yes, getting to the toilet. Plus, my legs are bad in general so it’s a little hard for me to drop down to sitting using only my right leg and to launch myself back up. Sigh.

My wife is ever ready and present with strong, warm arms to help me. She arranged her life just so she could come home from many months away to be here for the surgery and to help me. So, why is it so hard to accept her help? When she breathes a deep sigh, why do I worry I’m too much for her, instead of gathering that’s she’s tired, or has many things on her mind?

I don’t know.

Yesterday, my wife took my son out for some special birthday time. We knew I wasn’t ready to be alone yet for an afternoon and so I asked my best friend if she would come and hang out with me and my daughter while my wife and son went out. “Glad you reached out,” she said first, and yes, of course she was available. Perfect answer to prove my theory here. We need help; we need to ask for it; and those who love us will be happy to give the help we need.

My mom says it’s really hard for her clients to ask for help. [I know my mom would have totally made herself available, but I knew she had client meetings all afternoon.] She also says that it is really important for us to ask. Why? Because we all have family and friends ready to help us with whatever need we have, but we don’t let them in. When we ask for help, we give the people we ask the chance to Do Something. To care for us. To make it better in some small or big way. Those things make people feel better. So, instead of saying: “Kind of you to offer, but now, we don’t need anything,” consider saying: “Yes, please bring us a casserole.” Maybe you’ll get 7 casseroles, but, can you really ever have to many?

Doing things – big or small – for someone you love makes you feel good. Does this mean it’s magically easy for me to ask my wife to walk me to the toilet? No. But, I try hard to remember she wants to help. Helping me probably makes her feel good. I love it when a friend or family member asks me for help with something and I can give it. I need to remember that when someone offers a hand to help me up.

And I am guessing, so do you. I’ve said this before, it’s Butch to ask for help when you need it. Be Butch!/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/301/31342575/files/2014/12/img_2096.jpg


An Interview with Sofia: John Mayer Meets kd lang

I am reprinting on my blog from the Huffington Post.
/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/301/31342575/files/2014/12/img_2082.jpgI recently sat down with up-and-coming singer-songwriter Sofia. We had so much fun talking that I lost myself in a few places. What? I’m not a professional journalist. I am a butch lawyer who writes a blog, and I can count on one hand how many times I have actually sat down with another butch. What follows is (most of) our conversation.

Tell me about yourself.

I’m 23. Half-Venezuelan and half-Lebanese. I was raised in London and lived in Venezuela until I was 5, in Caracas, the capital. I am very passionate about cultures and mixing them. Cultures of the world. I am very much about peace. That’s what I was raised in. I want to promote peace. I’ve been into music my whole life. Started violin when I was 5, singing when I was 13. By the time I was 15, I was writing my own songs. My dad is literally the best guitarist I’ve ever known. [In high school I] went to the five-week program at Berklee College of Music in Boston. I was a songwriting major [at Berklee]. I’ve never been to California. I’d love to do a West Coast tour and hit all the places in California. I really want to play in New Orleans. I went there for the first time for BUKU Music + Art Fest. I went with my friend Avery, and it was like a mental-health trip. “Let’s go to NOLA and have fun!” We made friends with everyone — the waitresses at the beignet shop. I read that it’s the most dangerous city in the world, but I felt safe and comfortable there — more than anywhere in the U.S. I’m Venezuelan and Lebanese, so it takes a lot to scare me. It is really a blessing to have an English passport.

I sometimes feel it’s a curse to have an American passport, I’ll tell you!

But the U.S. is the center of the music world. Freedom of speech, protests. There is a huge international community at Berklee. Everyone is from somewhere else, but everyone wants to be in the U.S. And Boston, though it’s bloody cold, is amazing. When I was really sick, I didn’t think I was going to make it. I was stuck in Boston with my mom.

Please explain your struggles with Crohn’s.

I was at Berklee and had to withdraw from the semester because I started getting fevers every day. I was hospitalized a bunch of times in a couple of months. Three blood clots were found in my spleen because my immune system was so compromised, so I had to inject myself with blood thinners for about three months. Things escalated so much that I started to bleed internally and had to have like seven bags of blood in a week. I went back to school the next semester and somehow managed to graduate on time. It meant so much to me to be there at Berklee. I had a scholarship and was so grateful to be there, so I kept going even though it got really tough sometimes.

It was after I got sick when I wrote “Mum I Like a Girl.” I came in second in the “Songs for Social Change” competition, and it was the first time in my life I had ever won an award for a song I’d written. So in a sense it felt like I was overcoming my health battle with music.

I inject myself every two weeks with an immune suppressant called Humira. It saved my life. Crohn’s can be a really scary process; it’s almost like having cancer, but it’s not cancer. They use similar terminology: “in remission,” “no appetite,” “nausea.” And I have a high risk of cancer in the future. It’s really a crazy disease to have. I try to speak to my best friend Avery, who struggles worse than me, every day, and her experiences really gives me a lot of strength. It is hard to want to do anything and stay positive, but we do because we know that there are kids as young as 8 who get this. That’s why it’s important that we make it more accessible to talk about stomach problems and make it more comfortable to talk about food issues, including irritable bowel diseases. We would help a lot of people to feel more comfortable with the fact that there is nothing wrong with you. You just have a disease!

Who are your musical influences? Pretend I am from Rolling Stone.

I grew up listening to Eric Clapton and Bryan Adams. My mom loved to play Elvis and Harry Belafonte. Embarrassing albums too, like the Spice Girls. I love what Eric Clapton does because of his smoky element and yet his own stuff added. I went to school and decided, “I want to be just like John Mayer.”

Have you been compared to him?

Yes! … I like how emotional he is and how vulnerable he can be. I struggle with that when I am writing. I get writer’s block because I worry about being emotional. I am also a huge fan of Tegan and Sara, but I think I am late in the game. When I was in school, my mentor was Melissa Ferrick. Do you know her?

No.

She is a big advocate for LGBT musicians. Check her out; she is amazing.

Do you identify as a butch lesbian?

I do. I used to be very feminine. I used to have really long hair. I looked quite feminine. It took me a long time to feel comfortable dressing this way. I think Ellen is one of the coolest people in the world, and yes, I do want to dress like her. I do want to dress like Kate Moennig from The L Word. I don’t know if you know that lots of Venezuelan women have won the Miss World pageant. George Clooney just married a Lebanese woman.

Do you feel more pressure or scrutiny because you are Venezuelan and Lebanese?

Definitely. People say, “Gosh, you are so beautiful! Why would you dress this way?” I felt like I was in drag when I dressed like a woman is supposed to. But I get flattered when people call me “sir”! I secretly wanted to be more androgynous than I was. I get “sir’d” a lot more in the UK than in the U.S. Maybe because here we wear more skinny jeans. I didn’t expect that. But it’s amazing to come home to London and have people say to me, “You look like yourself now.”

Where do you see yourself this time next year?

Gosh, that is a really good question. I have absolutely no idea. I would love to be on tour. In just over a year, I will be releasing the next album. It usually takes about a year to get everything together. My goal right now is to get to play all over the world. I love to travel. I love different cultures. Music brings everyone together.

Do you have any pets that you will have to leave when you go on tour?

I have a dachshund, and her name is Cashmere. Ironic because we spell it like the fabric rather than the [place].

Like Adele?

I met her! And her dog! I worked at her label and had the chance to eat lunch with her. I’ve got a big crush on her.

Ready for the lightning round? Just one-word answers. No explanation needed. Blondes or brunettes?

That’s really really hard. Blondes.

Cake or pie?

Cake.

Boots or trainers?

Trainers.

Movies or television?

Movies. My favorite is A Beautiful Mind.

Snow or rain?

Rain.

Beer or whiskey?

Beer. Blue Moon, partially because of the song.

Bow tie or straight tie?

Bow tie. I do wear them and love them. Went to my first-ever gay wedding and wore one. Plus, I wore one to my graduation.

London or New York?

London.

Suits or dresses?

Suits.
You are adorable. People will want to know if you are in a relationship.

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/301/31342575/files/2014/12/img_2081.jpgI am too young for a relationship right now. I want to have some fun. I always try to be a gentleman. … I say no to misogynistic butches. I don’t want to be the horrible power-controlling stereotype.

You don’t have to be, Sofia. There are plenty of butches who think like you do — like me! Don’t let a few opinions change who you are. If you are butch, be butch. You don’t have to let it be an excuse to embody the worst parts of male stereotypes.

I really enjoyed talking with Sofia, and I hope that she gets more exposure! Check out her music on iTunes and Spotify.

It’s seriously butch to be an out butch singer-songwriter. Be butch!


My Own Happily Ever After Started Here, Two Years Ago Today

Two years ago today, my life changed forever.

Wanted Sign I suppose that is actually true every single day of our lives in the most strictest sense. But I don’t mean in the strict, rhetoric, philosophical sense. I mean in the something-huge-happens-that-changes-the-course-of-your-life sense. Two years ago today, I posted the piece “Wanted: Femme for Butch.” My therapist told me to write a list of what I wanted in my next relationship. Write it down, he said. It will help you get clear about the kind of woman you want to be with. I thought about it. And thought. And, then I started writing. And I wrote and wrote. It took me some time to get it posted, for a variety of reasons, but whatever the reasons, I posted it today (two years ago).

And then, a few weeks later, one of my fans shared a piece I wrote – not the Wanted piece, but a different/forgettable piece. My wife saw that piece on her friend’s wall and I think she was intrigued by my picture. This was before I “came out” as myself, and so it was a heat mapped version of me. Apparently, she liked what she saw enough to follow the link and read the forgettable piece. Even though she never reads blogs. Then she read another (better) piece, and it included a link to the Wanted piece. She followed the link and read my want ad. She was really affected by it, enough so that she left a comment. Even though she never leaves comments. Her comment was so genuine and honest. Shortly after that, she followed me on Twitter and I sButchOnTap Incognitoaw her picture, which was not heat mapped.

I don’t know if it was because of her comment, her picture (hot, hot, hot), or the fact that I was already set to take a trip to Scotland (where she lived) a few months later, but I reached out. We started talking. First on Twitter in 140 bite chunks, and then in email in much longer chunks. Then we talked on the phone. That led to Skype and we were sure we were both real people, lesbians who looked just like the pictures we had shared online (no catfishing). And we kept on talking, until one day I said, do you think maybe we should meet? In person? *gasp* And you know what? She did think we should meet. In person. A few weeks later, we made that happen. I’ve never been so nervous at the airport in my entire life. Three-piece suit, hair just so. Big bouquet of roses. You can’t text from the customs and immigration lines at the airport, so once someone goes in, it’s a crap shoot when they come popping out of the magical door. Out she came, and suddenly, there she was standing there in the United States in living color. *gulp*

I’ll skip the next bit, but feel free to add your own flourish.

I said in my piece that I wasn’t quite ready for the woman I was advertising for, but that if the Universe sent her my way, I would get ready. Well, it turns out that I knew myself pretty well. I wasn’t ready for her – for all the amazing awesomeness that is her – when the Universe sent her to me. But, I got ready. And, she was patient. And, now I am her wife. All because of the piece I wrote down and then sent out into the Universe. Like a message in a bottle thrown into the sea. “Come find me!” I called out across the social media ocean as I lovingly shoved my electronic message into the protective glass of my website.

Get clear on what you want. Then share it with the world in whatever way you share. I did that work to get clear, and then I Happily Ever After Starts Hereasked on this day. So, it feels like my life changed dramatically (for the better) two years ago. I set in motion the events that lead to me meeting the love of my life. Two years ago today, before I even met her, I moved one step closer on the path to my own happily ever after.

Thank you to my Femme for Butch. You are amazing and I am lucky enough to get to love you every day, and to have you return that love. It is Butch to know and ask for what you want. If you are lucky (#oneluckybutch), you will get it. Be Butch.


What Can I Do?

On the BOT Facebook page, we’ve been having a very sincere discussion about the unintentionally prejudiced and hurtful things whites and Otherthan’s say. One reader posted the following comment and I answered as below. I share this because I know this reader is not alone. As an ally, it is very important to allow whites and otherthans the leeway to say the “wrong thing” without attacking (which hopefully I did not do) when they are clearly struggling. If we only talk to people who agree with us, we are not affecting change.

IMG_1908.PNG
Friend,

I wish we could sit and have a meal together. I hear you trying to work through this – just like me. I hear you frustrated because you don’t feel like part of the problem – just like me. Read some more of Dr. King’s words. He laid out what you and I can do.

The first, and most important thing is to acknowledge that we have a race problem in America. We have people of color with less access to education, health care and opportunities. That’s a fact. We have a judicial system (that I used to be a part of) that systematically finds, convicts, and jails POC for more crimes and less significant crimes. The police kill a black person every 28 hours – black people are about 10% of our population. How can this be right?

We have a media (which I am now part of) that portrays things in a way to keep the peace/status quo. That benefits white people. It’s wrong for someone to call you a racist. But it’s also wrong, I gently suggest, for you to say there is no problem because you have black friends.

What can you do? Please keep reading and listening. Thank you for being open enough to read my words.

I see I missed the use of “preference” but let’s just focus on one thing at a time. What else would you add?

It’s Butch to help others see when they cannot. Be Butch.


I’m Otherthan White & My Feelings About the Murder of Mike Brown

Originally posted on December 4, 2014 at Huffington Post Gay Voices. If you like this post, please hop over there and tell them by clicking the like button.

I haven’t written much about race issues, mostly out of respect for the black community. Even this term sounds wrong as I type it out. Is there a single “black community”? Is there just one “gay community”? Sure, if you are talking about the Castro in San Francisco, Chelsea in New York City, or Hillcrest in San Diego. But are all LGBT people in America one community? No. Neither, I suspect, is there a single “black community,” unless we are talking about a particular area, like, say, Ferguson, Missouri. So out of respect for black Americans, then? After all, what the hell do I know about being black in America?

On the one hand, zero. I am not black. I am one of those Americans who tell people they’re Irish because it sounds more interesting than “white.” I knew I would go to college. I can reasonably believe that if I work hard enough, I will be successful and can support a family. I don’t have to live in fear of the police stopping me as I drive home to my nice, predominantly white neighborhood. When I go into a shop, I don’t have to worry that the employees will follow me around on the suspicion that I will steal something. Even with my mohawk. Zero.

On the other hand, I experience being “otherthan” each and every day of my life. Otherthan being married to a man, because I am a lesbian. Otherthan being like “every other lesbian.” (Do all lesbians look alike except for me?) Otherthan looking like a “regular, normal” woman, because I am too tall, too big, too masculine, too butch. Otherthan identifying as a Christian, Jew, or Muslim, because I am an atheist.

Is any of this like being black? No. No. No. A hundred times no. I offer these otherthans only to say that, within my white privilege, I experience daily “otherness” that might give me some hint of what black Americans face each and every day, at least as far as being otherthan white. I don’t feel like I’m part of the big, white, oppressive system — and yet I am. I’ve had amazing friends in the past few years who have helped me see this better; while it might not be my fault, I definitely experience the privileges that come with being white, middle-class, and educated.

But in my privileged, albeit otherthan, place, I have been profoundly affected by the killing of Michael Brown, the grand jury’s decision not to charge Officer Darren Wilson with any crime for the death, and the reaction afterwards. As a lawyer and a former prosecutor, I am trying to understand why the process worked so differently for Wilson, a white police officer, than for otherthans accused of similar crimes. As an intelligent person who understands the system, I cannot fathom how the prosecutor could have handled the case in the manner that he did, nor why he did not recuse himself. If ever there was a time for the process to be fair and as impartial as our system will allow, this was it. But it wasn’t.

As an otherthan white person, I am trying to understand. Trying to process. Trying to synthesize my feelings. I hope this does not make me sound ignorant about race in America. I do not believe that I am; that education started for me many years ago. I distinctly remember an accomplished black lawyer telling me he got hassled by the cops, routinely, in his Brooks Brothers suit. Upper-class black girlfriends of mine share stories of being profiled as potential shoplifters by retail employes, and of the repulsive comments they receive from strangers at a shockingly high frequency. I know about the way my friends whose families are not all-white or all-black are treated. There are so many of these stories that anyone who listens to them gives up the naïveté (“That still happens in America?” asks the wide-eyed white child) immediately.

I note that my black friends and family are not speaking out much on social media. They are silent. I imagine the pain is too much. I haven’t reached out because I don’t especially like it when straight people reach out to me after a gay hate crime or injustice. It is not my friends’ job to help me understand. It is my job to gain understanding. So here I am, part of the problem, I know, but not feeling quite like that.

I want to be part of the solution.

What can I do to help? What can I do to combat racism? How can I make a difference? I’m not stupid; I know that the civil-rights movement needed white Americans to see and abhor what was happening to add weight to the fight. A minority cannot win rights from the majority without some help from the majority (basic math). So it was in the ’60s, and so it has been the past decade with gay rights. We wouldn’t have gay marriage in 35 states and D.C. if it weren’t for the support of our straight friends. (Thank you, by the way.)

But as one person, what can I do to help? This is my struggle. I realize I have a tiny podium to share things and try to impact others. I have done that. But what about as I move through the world? As I handle my daily life? How do I say to the black and white Americans I come across that I abhor what is happening and want to be part of the solution?

Last week I read the “Other America” speech that Martin Luther King Jr. gave at Gross Pointe High School in 1968. This is the speech where he says riots are bad but he could not condemn them without also “condemning the contingent, intolerable conditions that exist in our society.” It has been cited a lot in the last few days. In it King calls for an acknowledgement from all Americans that we have a race problem in America.

Well, we have a race problem in America.

We do. We have a system that is skewed. The cards are stacked against black Americans, and the statistical proof of this is sickening. But many people do not (cannot? will not?) see it. This was never more apparent to me than in the past few months. I have spoken to otherwise intelligent, wonderful people who did not hesitate to disparage an entire race. I have moved through work afraid to say anything about Michael Brown for fear that my colleagues might say something to make me respect them a little less. I scroll through Facebook nervous of what I might see.

But how does an otherthan effect change? We can’t wait for voting; besides, basic human rights are not to be voted on. We need “the people” to agree that the system and the rules of the system are geared toward protecting whites, ensconcing them in privilege, supporting them, and helping them flourish. We need the people who don’t see the problem to read and see, to listen and hear.

The laws need to change to provide protections. We need race training for all law enforcement, though I’m not sure how we teach someone that all life has equal value when that idea should be innate; an end to racial profiling; the demilitarization of our police; and lapel cameras on all law enforcement officers.

All these things need to happen, but before they do, the opinions of the majority must change. Right or wrong, it works this way.

So what will I do? I will keep using my podium. I will continue to teach my children about equality, that all stereotypes are bad, that they should question a system that benefits them solely because of their race, and that they should choose friends based on the quality of their character rather than the color of their skin. I will share with the people in my life. I will do so gently with people I like or love, and respectfully with the rest. I will not stop loving or liking them just because they might need help to understand. If we only talk with people who agree with us, we are preaching to the choir. When I pass black and white Americans on the street, I will look them in the eye and smile. I will continue to look for biases inside me. I will keep reading. I will listen to anyone who tells me I am missing something and read things that people suggest I read.

If you have any suggestions for what else I can do, share in the comments. I am listening, as are a lot of white Americans today (and, hopefully, tomorrow and always).

It is butch to stand up and say, “Enough! This otherthan wants to be part of the solution rather than the problem!” Be butch.


All About That … Dinah! Meghan Trainor to Headline

IMG_1837.JPGPop sensation Meghan Trainor is confirmed to headline the highly anticipated 25th Anniversary of the legendary Club Skirts Dinah Shore Weekend, April 1-5, 2015 in Palm Springs, CA.

The 20-year-old singer-songwriter from Nantucket will grace the main stage of the Palm Springs Convention Center during the Dinah’s “Black Party” on Saturday, April 4th, 2015 in Palm Springs, CA.

Club Skirts Dinah Shore Weekend, popularly known as “The Dinah”, is the biggest & largest lesbian event of its kind in the world. Founded and produced by Mariah Hanson, The Dinah has, for the past 25 years, continuously been changing minds and changing lives, offering women from all over the world the opportunity to express their true selves and gain an extraordinary amount of self worth. Considered a bucket list event by lesbians of all ages, The Dinah continues to inspire, provoke and entertain.

With The Dinah, Hanson has created a haven where acceptance and tolerance rule. More than a pop song with an infectious beat, “Bass” is a bold self-acceptance message that shares and celebrates the same life philosophy as The Dinah: be free to be who you are.

“Meghan Trainor is the perfect artist to headline the 2015 Dinah, our milestone year. Her song is a record breaking number one billboard hit, and in addition it invokes a new social paradigm that places less emphasis on the exterior and more emphasis on the fact that we are all beautiful and that that beauty comes in many shapes, colors and sizes. I’m especially proud to join with Meghan in sending out this wonderful life-affirming message to our guests. It’s time. And it’s our time!“ says Mariah Hanson, founder and promoter of Club Skirts Dinah Shore Weekend.

Trainor’s insanely catchy single “All About That Bass” was #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for eight consecutive weeks, rewriting the record for the longest-ruling No. 1 single ever released on Epic Records – dethroning The King of Pop’s “Billie Jean” in 1983 and “Black or White” in 1991, which were on top for seven weeks.

“All About that Bass” has already gone four times platinum and has also become the longest-leading No. 1 by a woman this year.

The unstoppable Trainor is kicking off 2015 with a bang embarking on her first ever North American headline tour, THAT BASS tour. In the meantime, she has already released the second single, “Lips Are Movin,’” from her upcoming debut Album “Title” out January 13, 2015, which is quickly climbing up the charts. Meghan was nominated for “New Artist of the Year” at the American Music Awards and is up for Best New Female Musician at the LOGO NewNowNext Awards.
Hanson’s natural knack for spotting the next best thing in music has transformed The Dinah into the inescapable venue for newcomers to breakthrough. Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Kesha and just this year Iggy Azalea are a few examples of artists who, post-Dinah, systematically went on to hit international superstar status.

The music industry now looks at The Dinah as a pivotal indicator in the success of emerging artists’ careers, and has put the festival on the A list of all festivals. The Dinah has undeniably made a name for itself as not only an important festival landmark welcoming the biggest names in the music industry; but also the MUST-DO Spring event of the Palm Springs festival season.

Meghan Trainor is the first confirmed headliner joining the 2015 Dinah Entertainment Line-Up. Mariah Hanson will be announcing more top-notch performers by the end of the year and early 2015.

April 1-5, 2015 Club Skirts Dinah Shore Weekend is turning twenty-five and taking the landmark event to new heights … from EPIC to HISTORIC!

For more information and/or to purchase tickets go to: http://www.TheDinah.com


World Premiere! Right here!

IMG_1609.JPGCheck out Butch singer songwriter Sofia and her new single and video over at HuffPost where we launched it worldwide today! Watch the video and read the piece there. =:o)

I sought out and landed an interview with an adorable Butch songwriter. Go figure. Check her out, and while you are at it – Be Butch.


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